Sound the alarm!!!

SpongeBob Squarepants is a damned sodomite!!! The god-danged, homo-sekshul, Jew libruls what own the media's tryin' t'infiltrate our young'uns brains!!! Run fer the hills!!!

According to Focus on the Family's James Dobson, because SpongeBob is an ironic icon to some in the gay community, and appears in a video teaching kids about multiculturalism, he's a cleverly laid (pun intended, thank you) trap to entice American youth into a life of sin. Brilliant. I know I shouldn't help these cretins out, but here goes:

Attention troglodytes! Publicly fretting about cartoon characters being gay recruitment tools makes you look like morons.
Yes, even more than usual. That is all.

That's what I call writin'!

This article is only mildly interesting, but it does contain the phrase "deviant bacon orgies", and that's gotta count for something, right?

For your reading enjoyment:

Each year I look forward to and heartily enjoy Slate's Movie Club, in which a bunch of film critics spend a week blathering at each other about movies and movie criticism. This year's edition is off to a delightfully batty start. Dig it.